May 19, 2021
Jody Day is the founder of Gateway Women, the global support network for childless women - now celebrating its 10th Anniversary. Jody is also a psychotherapist and author of Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children - the book The British Medical Journal now recommend to patients coming to terms with unavoidable childlessness. Jody says of childlessness: ‘in no way do I wish to diminish the heartbreak you might be feeling right now - I’ve been there; it’s the darkest place I’ve ever been. You never ‘get over’ childlessness, it’s not the flu, but it is possible to heal around it.’
Here, Jody and Helen talk about:
- Jody’s journey
- How IVF isn’t a magic bullet
- PTSD and fertility treatment
- Childless or child free - how the terms aren’t interchangeable
- Unhelpful cultural ideas around not having children
- Painful things people say
- …and what to say back (‘I’m not ‘childless Google’!’)
- ‘Pronatalism’ and how it does all women a disservice
- Disenfranchised grief and how to heal it
- Finding a new purpose – a ‘good’ plan B
Triggers include childlessness not by choice, infertility, IVF, abortion.
It’s a very powerful episode where we talk about a lot of extremely painful things (there are tears). It’s difficult but important and that’s what learning how to be sad is all about – so I hope you’ll join us on this one and do get in touch at firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like to discuss further or visit https://gateway-women.com/.
Follow Jody @gatewaywomen on Twitter and Instagram.
Follow Helen on social media @MsHelenRussell
How To Be Sad, the book, is out now.
Thanks to Joel Grove for production and to Matt Clacher at HarperCollins for making this podcast happen.